Zombie CD Rates and the Coming Apocalypse

March 1st, 2012

Zombie CD Rates Image
First, forgive the dramatic title; just having some fun. Two different people mentioned a similar topic though and I felt like it would be entertaining and informative. Are these low rates turning us into Zombies? Can we battle against the forces of darkness and retain our wits? Finally, are we doomed and really just prolonging the inevitable?

We Need A Hero

Often times in Zombie movies, the lead character is a tough, no-nonsense, grizzled, Son-of-a-Gun. Sometimes he rubs people the wrong way. But after all, he is working to save the world (find better CD Rates), and we usually grow to like him and cheer him on. He bucks the system, plays by his rules, but is fighting to free the little guy.

His weapon of choice (until he runs out of ammo) may be a semi-automatic, sawed-off shotgun (or search engine and a phone). There will be flashbacks of a tortured life that made him the cold-hearted man that he is (which is perfect for a Zombie killer). In the beginning of any great Zombie movie, our “hero” ends up picking up a poor, hapless soul that just lost their family. At first, he resists, he doesn’t need a tag-along. But he realizes he can’t win this fight alone, and begins to create a mini-me zombie (low CD Rates) killer.

Fight the Zombie Horde

I do believe these low rates are turning many into zombies. But, I am here to fight with you to the bitter end. We can battle against the banks paying a lifeless 0.10%. We can move our money and earn 1.00% or more. I don’t believe life is ever served by just sitting back in the easy chair, checking out, and just taking come what may. You have to keep your wits and reflexes sharp. That means fighting against the zombie hoard of lifeless banks.

I do believe these low certificate of deposit rates (JCDI’s Rates Page) will be around for a while yet. Making it harder and harder to fight. Of late, there have been some large banks offering cash bonuses for new accounts. Just be careful of the small print. You may need to have a certain number of debit transactions or balance requirements. The other problem with these is once banks have your money, they often drop the teaser rate. So if you go this route, keep your “weapons” loaded and be ready to move quick. I would make sure that the banks have any easy method for moving your funds out.

Keep Your Arsenal Clean and Ready

And I do believe the hunt will keep you sharp. Keep track of those web sites (depositaccounts.com [they have a write-up on a 6-year at 2.00%], bankrate.com, Jumbocdinvestments’ Blog) that follow bank rates and occasionally do new searches to see if there are any new players. Be careful of ads that promise things that are too good to be true. If CD rates are hovering around 1.00 to 2.00% and someone is offering you a guaranteed investment of 10%, I would be very weary. It just might be a Zombie outpost trying to lure you in. Join our army and let us know of sites and rates that you find. A small, well equipped team can conquer large zombie forces.

Finally, is there a pending Apocalypse? Yes, I believe there is, but it could be tomorrow, next month, next year, or in the next century. We can’t live our life in fear. Be ready with supplies and tools. Be ready with a network of friends and family. Keep your wits sharp. But, live your life. Don’t cower, be strong and stand up to the Zombie hoard.

cd :O)

Image from: Zombie Silhouettes.

-- By +Chris Duncan

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